I am pimping it out for you at the Academy Awards.
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
- Joan Rivers Rate and Discuss this quote

My daughter refuses to call me mother in public; my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
- Joan Rivers Rate and Discuss this quote